If Winnie the Pooh worked at a Tech company.

If the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood worked at a Bay Area tech company…

piglet

Piglet: A quietly dependable programmer who somehow works there for three years without a raise, and is left out of the profit sharing plan.

kanga

Kanga: Is laid off for supposedly unrelated reasons shortly after she requests maternity leave.

pooh

Pooh: Spends most of his first week snacking in the break room. Management cuts his salary, but he isn’t actually fired, because he contributes to morale.

tigger

Tigger: Is brought in by HR for violating people’s personal space the first day.

eyore

Eeyore: Isn’t able to stand the 90 minute commute on a regular basis, afford an apartment closer to work, or muster the motivation to work from home. Quits shortly.

owl

Owl: Tech companies don’t hire old people.

rabbit

Rabbit: Is secretly hated by most people in the company, but makes VP within six months.

christopher

Christopher Robin: Moved to Portland and lost touch with his friends years ago.

  • When I first read this I thought, “No, Tigger wouldn’t get fired. Whomever’s space he invaded would get fired, but only if it was a woman (as opposed to a man).” But who are we kidding. Tigger would be invading EVERYONE’S space.

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