If Winnie the Pooh worked at a Tech company.
If the residents of the Hundred Acre Wood worked at a Bay Area tech company…
Piglet: A quietly dependable programmer who somehow works there for three years without a raise, and is left out of the profit sharing plan.
Kanga: Is laid off for supposedly unrelated reasons shortly after she requests maternity leave.
Pooh: Spends most of his first week snacking in the break room. Management cuts his salary, but he isn’t actually fired, because he contributes to morale.
Tigger: Is brought in by HR for violating people’s personal space the first day.
Eeyore: Isn’t able to stand the 90 minute commute on a regular basis, afford an apartment closer to work, or muster the motivation to work from home. Quits shortly.
Owl: Tech companies don’t hire old people.
Rabbit: Is secretly hated by most people in the company, but makes VP within six months.
Christopher Robin: Moved to Portland and lost touch with his friends years ago.